Confessions of a dangerous recreation.

When spelled backwards, the word Hannah is the same thing, only the capital is at the back. I've never met Hannah, but I'm sure that she's a delightful woman. She seems nice. I've spoken to her brother, whom odly enough, is named MikekiM. He was quite a ravenous being. Him and I spent a weekend at a Las Vegas Casino. We were involved a poker game that consisted of 6 other people. It was a televised event and we were both prepared. He was wrapped up in a continent wide poker tour. I of course am participating in the World Poker tour representing Hungary. They were running out of players and i was in Veszprem on vacation. It was an interesting trip. At that time, I was the only in the city with experience in the game of Texas Hold'em. To be honest, I was the only one in the entire city. Going in to the tour, the one thing that Hungarian wanted me to have the knowledge of the most important part of playing the game of poker. POKER IS THE MOST DANGEROUS SPORT THAT HAS EVER WALKED ON THIS EARTH. And I know what you're thinking, "No it's not."





Oh contrare, You may not have this knowledge, but Texas hold'em is very life threatening. I've left games that ended in death and smoke. It's not something to be laughed at. More people will choose to die each year in a poker game than to eat a nail. The sad truth. It's something I knew before i was told it by a korean translator ( there was no body who spoke both Hungarian and Engglish. But there was someone whom spoke Hungarian and Korean, unfortuanatly that person didnt speak english either, so that brings us to the Korean translator. She was a nice person). Before i got involved in the tour, I would play poker with a bunch a guys every tuesday night in the basement of a factory where they made aluminum doves painted orange. I never really got to know any of the guys, untill the night i left for the tour. They were all very upset with me about leaving. I felt bad. But I got over it once my trainer told me that if I wanted to be a poker star like Ache` Peelingformanitsgerald, I would have to learn to put the game before my friends. Tough, but fair.





Our first stop on our World poker tour was in Sweden. We were going to be staying there for 2 months ( we got there a little early because Hungary doesn't have Daylight savings), wicth gave us timeto prepare for my first game where I was going to face the fierce Italian player, Ray Ramano, whom had the wings of a hawk. As we were in sweden, I thought that I would buy a nice apartment there that would be my sanctuary for the next 2 maybe 3 months. It would also be my summer home when good things turn bad in August (Damn you Colin Hanks). For the next 2 months my trainer and I trained 24/7. he came to my apartment everyday and everymorning he would tell me that the last day of training, he will tell me the most important technique for poker. I never really payed any attention to him, which perhaps caused my downfall, but i think my biggest mistake was kicking him out of my apartment just before he was about to finally tell me the technique. He had just knocked on the bathroom door before he was about to go in even though he knew it was vaccant. I hate it when people do that. He pleaded to me that he wasn't sure if I had a room mate or. You'd think that in the 2 months that the had been teaching in it he'd notice that there was nobody else lurking about inside the spare bedroom.


Well, anyway thenext day was the day that I had to compete angainst Ray Ramano. You would how delighted I was when I found out Ray had to drop out of the game after he was spooned in the chestral area (stabbed in his right peck with a round salad tong). But my delight was soon to be shattered. Ray's trainer alerted me that he had found a last minute replacment. He pointed towards the stairs next the bleacher, where there was a huge cloud of smoke. Emerging from the exaust, was none other then the Italian Stalion, Warren Beaty. I was absolutley terrified. I had heard stories about the man and his evil deeds. As soon as we sat down at the table, I felt a firey vibe coming from Warren's seat. His face looked as though he steemingly angry, for the whole game. His blood shot eyes, focused on me the entire time. He knew I was a possible obsticale on his to glory road towards victory. Constantly looking at my hand, I had no idea what the outcome of the game would end up being. My confusion started to wear off more and more as the other four people, slowly but surely made their way to complete defeat. By the last hand, it Beaty and I lest at the poker table. Both of us fluent in sign language, niether me or Warren had to say a word, leaving the atmosphere completley silent. There was one person in the stands who was constantly coughing due to the champagne glass stuck btween his tonsils. The Bartender, ended up having to take him outside and shooting him with a riffle. Warren and I continued to game, our eyes locked on eachother's chips, with the occasional glance at our cards. The flop was delt. It wasn't good for my hand, nor for his, apparently, because we both checked. same with the turn. Then came the turn, both of us raised an eyebrow. Our minds continusly spinning. Warren went all in and I followed. At this point we both had approxiamatley the same amount of cards, so this hand would decide who won. I was breathing heavily, at least I thought I was, I think the dealer had asthma.I leaned in and flipped over my cards. Full house, Fives full of nines. He Grinned and I immediatley stood up. He showed his hand. Full house fives full of........ Jacks.

I had been defeated. I lost. I reched across the table and shook Warren's hand, then retreated back to my trainer.

"You forgot the final technique," he told me.

"Remember?" I answered, "you never got to teaching me about that."

"Alright, I'll show you how it's done," he start to pace towards Warren. I was worried that he was going to do something stupid, then relieved to see his lean in with a hand shake and a pat on the back for each Member of the Italian squad. Suddenly I saw a kicthen knife lofged through the heart of Warren. My trainer winked at me. Normally, when these kind of events happen, the ticket to the next round is given to the runner-up, i.e me, but in this case it went to the 2nd runner-up, because once the chairman got hold of the information that I was Canadian, but on the Hungarian squad, I was disqualifyed from the tour, leaving me to go back to Ontario, where I belong. Tuesday night was a big day for me. I was hesitant to go back to the dove factory, seing as how I when i departed, my poker buddies weren't happy with me. I opened the door to the basement and none of the guys had changed at all since our last encounter. I joked that the scene was just the way i left it. none of them laughed, they just stared at me with their beedy litle eyes and smelly lashes. All of them signaled me to come sit down at my assigned spot at the table. So i did as i was told and played the game that been going on for 13 years.